DBT Emotion Regulation Skills for Children and Kids

How do you feel right now? Are you sad or scared or anxious or mad or angry or happy or maybe somewhere in between? Feelings and emotions are natural. Everyone has them. But sometimes they don’t feel very nice. You probably don’t like feeling sad, scared, or angry. But it’s okay to have these feelings. Everyone feels this way sometimes.

So, how do you know how you’re feeling? Sometimes you notice it in your body. When we feel sad, our bodies can feel slow and tired, like we don’t want to move or do anything. Or we have a sad feeling in our stomachs or in our hearts. Or our throat can feel tight, like it’s hard to swallow. Do you ever feel this way?

And when we’re scared or anxious, we might get a stomach ache or feel dizzy or shaky or feel our hearts beating really fast or find it hard to breathe. Do you ever feel like that?

When we’re angry, our bodies might feel hot, like our face is burning, or we’re boiling over, or our muscles get tense, and we want to squeeze our hands into a fist or start stomping around. Do you ever feel like that?

And if we’re happy, our bodies might feel warm or light and bouncy or calm and relaxed. Do you ever feel like that?

There’s a worksheet on my website where you can draw where you feel your feelings and emotions in your body. And this will help you understand your feelings and emotions better. You can pause the video to do it now or do it once you finished watching.

Now, sometimes it’s our thoughts that let us know how we’re feeling. When we’re sad, we might think, “I’m not good enough or nobody likes me or I just want to be alone.” When we’re scared or anxious, we might think, “What if something bad happens?” Or, “I’m going to get in trouble or I don’t want to do this.” And when we’re angry, we might think, “That’s not fair. They’re so mean. I can’t stand this. Just leave me alone.

And when we’re happy, we might think, “This is so much fun. I feel really good right now. I wish this could last forever.” What kind of thoughts do you have when you have these feelings?

And sometimes our feelings show up in what we do. If we’re sad, we might get quiet, lie in bed all day, or just watch TV or play video games. We might even cry. And if we’re scared or anxious, we might want to hold on to someone or something or start walking back and forth or not want to do something or go somewhere we’re afraid of. If we’re angry, we might yell, say something mean, or want to throw something, or push or hit someone. And if we’re happy, we might smile or laugh, run around, or want to do things with our friends. How do you act when you’re feeling these ways?

It’s good to know how we’re feeling because it helps us understand what we need. If we’re sad, maybe we need a hug or to do something we enjoy or to be around family or friends. If we’re scared or anxious, we can take some slow breaths to help us calm down. And if something feels scary but is safe, instead of staying away or avoiding it, we can try doing just a little bit of it. And it may not be as bad as we fear.

And if we’re angry, we might want to move around and burn off some energy or find a quiet place to cool off or listen to some music or count to 10 before doing or saying anything.

And if we’re happy, we might want to share it with someone, keep doing what makes us feel good, or just enjoy the moment. What helps you when you have these feelings?

So, the next time you have a strong feeling or emotion, try naming it. Or you can draw how you’re feeling. And no matter what you’re feeling, it’s always okay to feel that way, even if it doesn’t feel very good. I’m feeling sad, and it’s okay to feel sad. I’m feeling scared, but it’s okay to be scared. I’m feeling angry, and it’s okay to be angry. Saying this won’t make a feeling go away right away, but it can help you feel a little better. And no matter how strong a feeling is, it’s not going to last forever. And you’re going to be okay.