Stress Management Self Help Video Course

Do you ever feel stressed or overwhelmed and have trouble coping with everything you’ve got going on? In this video, we’ll learn stress management techniques involving our minds, bodies, and behavior.

Let’s start with STOP, which stands for Stop what you’re doing, Take a step back, Take a breath or take a break. Then, Observe what’s going through our minds, how we’re feeling, what’s happening in our bodies, and how we’re acting and behaving. And then we Problem solve and Plan, asking ourselves, “What’s the best way for me to deal with this situation? What’s the most important thing for me to do right now?” Finally, we proceed mindfully into the next part of our day.

Using STOP regularly helps prevent stress from building, and it’s a great way to manage stress that’s already here. For example, when we’re stressed, our minds are often anywhere but in the present moment. When we’re at home or with our friends, we’re stressing about work. While at work, we’re worrying about everything we need to do when we get home. We’re dwelling on the argument we had earlier, and this stresses us out.

STOP brings us back into the here and now, where we can simply observe our thoughts without getting caught up in them in ways that make us more stressed. A simple way to do this is to label our thoughts as worrying, stressing out, or what-ifs—just giving a brief label that describes the nature of the thought rather than focusing on its content. This takes away some of the power our thoughts have over us, making them easier to let go.

We can add the word “just”: “This is just a worry,” or “This is just a what-if,” which helps us step back from our stressful thoughts even more, reducing how stressed we feel. Or, we can adjust our stressful thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I can’t afford any mistakes,” we might reframe it as, “If I do my best, it’ll be okay.”

Rather than, “I’m wasting time, I need to work harder and finish everything now,” we could tell ourselves, “I have a lot to do, but it’s important to take time to unwind so I can work more efficiently.” Instead of, “I just can’t cope with all of this,” we might say, “It’s a lot of work, and it’s going to be tough, but I’ll get through it.” Viewing things from these different perspectives relieves stress as it helps us set more realistic and supportive expectations for ourselves.

Now, when we STOP and observe what’s going on in our bodies, we’ll often notice the first sign of stress is something physical: tension or ache in the jaw, neck, or shoulders; tightness in the throat or chest; an uneasy feeling in the stomach; or even a headache.

Relaxing the stress that’s built up in our bodies by releasing tension or tightness and easing discomfort helps us feel less stressed overall. We might take a minute to roll our necks or shoulders or gently massage them, or get up and do some stretches or go for a brief walk.

We can relieve stress in our bodies with our breath, using our in-breath to bring awareness to the part of our bodies where we’re feeling the stress and then breathing out of this stress, allowing it to soften and relax as we exhale. Just continuing to breathe like this for a couple of minutes—breathing into the stress and breathing out of the stress—can help it start to relax.

We can also relieve stress by slowing down our breathing: breathing in through our nose for a count of two, pausing, and then breathing out through our mouths for a count of four. Or, we repeat to ourselves as we breathe, “Breathing in, I feel calm. Breathing out, I relax.”

When we STOP and observe our behavior, we’ll often find ourselves responding to stress in ways that are counterproductive. A technique called Opposite Action can help, which involves recognizing these initial impulses and intentionally acting opposite to the way our stress is urging us to act.

For example, our instinct might be to push ourselves harder—working through breaks and meals and late into the night—but this only makes us feel more stressed. It’s not efficient; we become less productive, and the quality of our work suffers. Instead, we take Opposite Action by giving ourselves regular breaks, spending time each day away from work doing things that help us relax and unwind, and making sure to get enough sleep.

Avoidance and procrastination are also common responses to stress. We might have the urge to put off things that are stressing us out so we don’t have to think about them, but this just leads to increased stress and anxiety down the road.

With Opposite Action, when we start to feel overwhelmed, we acknowledge the desire to avoid the things that are stressing us out, but instead commit to taking at least small steps towards getting things done.

Now, planning, getting organized, and breaking things down into smaller, more manageable steps reduces stress and provides a sense of direction that helps us feel more in control. We can start by making a list of everything we’ve got going on—whether professional, household, personal, or anything else that’s stressing us out.

Then we break these tasks down into smaller steps. Instead of “clean the apartment,” we write “tidy up the kitchen, vacuum the living room, clean the bathroom.” Instead of “work on my presentation,” we write “come up with an outline, do some research, write the presentation, prepare the slides, practice presenting it.” If any of those steps are still too much, we break them down even further.

Then we prioritize. We can’t do everything at once, so we identify what’s most urgent and tackle those tasks first. By using a checklist and calendar, we can clarify exactly what needs to be done and when, which can help prevent stress from building. If we’re already feeling stressed, this structure gives us a way to cope.

Setting clear boundaries and learning to say no are also essential skills, as taking on too many commitments can lead to feeling stressed and burnt out. Establishing boundaries involves communicating our needs and expectations clearly and assertively, creating an environment where our boundaries are respected and we can manage stress more effectively.

It’s important to remember that saying no doesn’t make us selfish; it allows us to focus on our priorities and responsibilities. There’s nothing wrong with declining additional commitments once our plates are already full.

Stopping, taking a step back, and observing our stressful thoughts, any signs of stress in our bodies, and how our behaviors are contributing to stress gives us a chance to respond in ways that reduce stress. Then we can come up with plans to tackle whatever is stressing us out.