Unproductive Worry, Productive Worry and Problem Solving

Do you ever get stuck in a cycle of worry, running through the same scenarios over and over without getting anywhere? In this video, we’ll learn to turn unproductive worrying into something productive.

So, why do we worry? Often, it’s because we’re trying to solve a problem or figure out how to prevent something bad from happening and be as prepared as possible if it does.

But a lot of worrying is unproductive. It doesn’t lead to action or solutions and it just leaves us feeling more anxious and stuck in our heads overthinking things.

So instead of spinning in circles with endless what if questions, we can ask ourselves a different set of questions that helps us separate our worries into problems we can solve and worries that we can’t control or do anything about or that don’t have a clear solution.

And these questions are, is this problem plausible or reasonable? Is it something I have some control over? And can I do anything about it now?

And if the answer to all of these questions is yes, then we move from worrying about the problem to problem solving and looking for solutions.

And if the answer to any of these questions is no, we look at whether there’s a way to reframe the problem. So the answer becomes yes. And if there is, we can start problem solving.

And if there isn’t, we accept that continuing to worry about this is unproductive. We’re trying to solve something that doesn’t have a solution. In which case, we need to just let it go and stop worrying about it for now because no amount of worrying is going to help.

So, let’s look at some examples. We’re worrying I’m not going to finish this project on time.

Is it plausible or reasonable? Yes, there’s a real deadline and we might feel time pressure. Do I have control over it? Also, yes, we can control how we organize our time and focus on completing the project.

Can I do something about it now? Well, that depends. If we’re lying in bed trying to fall asleep, then no. We need to just let it go and think about it tomorrow.

But if we’re working, then yes, we can break the project down into a series of smaller tasks, create a timeline, and focus on completing one step at a time, and ask for help if needed, so we can take action now instead of continuing to worry about it.

Or, we’ve been having headaches and worry. What if it’s a sign of something serious like a brain tumor?

Well, that’s probably not that plausible, especially if we have health anxiety and tend to worry about various physical symptoms a lot, but it is possible. And if you’re concerned about a medical issue, it’s not unreasonable to get it checked out.

Now, we can’t control whether these headaches are a symptom of something serious, so there’s no point in worrying about that. So, we focus on what we can control, which is getting it checked out.

Can I do something about it now? We can make a doctor’s appointment, but after that, no, there isn’t anything else we can do about it. Now, researching online or asking others for reassurance can just add to our anxiety. And for now, we just need to practice accepting the uncertainty.

Or we worry, what if I lose my job? It could be plausible, especially if there have been ongoing layoffs in our field or company. But we don’t have control over companywide decisions regarding layoffs.

But instead of worrying what if I lose my job, we can reframe this to how can I prepare for possible layoffs and we do have control over this and we can do something about it now.

Update our resumes, expand our professional networks, research potential job opportunities and so on. And taking these steps helps us feel more proactive and reduces anxiety about the unknown and things outside of our control.

or we worry they haven’t responded to my text yet. Did I say something wrong? Are they mad at me? Did something happen to them?

It’s possible, but not really that plausible. There are many more likely explanations. They’re busy. They didn’t see it or they plan to reply later. Assuming they’re upset or that something happened to them without any evidence is a bit of a stretch.

And we can’t control when the other person responds or how they react when they read it. and there’s nothing we can do about it now.

The only actions available, like rescending the message to make sure they got it or preemptively apologizing in case they are upset, are more likely to make things worse. And our best option is to just stop worrying about it, tolerate the uncertainty, and wait until we hear from them.

So, when we find ourselves caught up in our worries, instead of staying stuck in our heads, we want to take action if possible. If there’s a real solvable problem, we address it.

And if there’s nothing we can do about it now, we just acknowledge that and focus on letting the worry go and accepting the uncertainty.

If that’s something you struggle with, I have strategies that can help in my free self-help course at selfhelptunes.com. So, please check that out.

And please help me out by liking and subscribing and letting me know what you think in the comments. And if you’d like to support my channel and help me make more videos like this, I really appreciate it. And please check out the donation links in the description.