Rumination and Depression: Reduce Repetitive Negative Thinking

Do you ever get stuck in an endless loop of thinking, going over the same thing again and again without getting anywhere? In this video, we’ll learn strategies to help us cope with overthinking, ruminating, and dwelling on things, and reduce how much we do it. First, we need to understand that it’s not what we’re thinking about, but how we’re thinking about it that matters.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking about the past or about our problems. Those thoughts can be useful when they help us reflect, learn, problem solve, or plan. But rumination isn’t that. It’s repetitive circular thinking where we’re trying to be productive, but it doesn’t lead anywhere. So, it can help to start by asking ourselves, am I getting any new information from thinking about this? And if we’re not, it’s time to move on.

Because not only isn’t rumination productive, it usually makes us feel worse. Because going over the same thing again and again is frustrating and exhausting. And when we continually replay painful experiences or fixate on things that upset us, we prolong feelings like sadness and anger. So we need to shift focus to something more concrete and actionable like problem solving, planning, and taking practical steps.

There’s no point in replaying that argument in our heads. Sitting there thinking about it won’t solve anything. And it doesn’t make us feel any better. So when we find ourselves overthinking something, we can ask ourselves, “Is there anything I can do about this?”

Now, maybe we can set up a time to talk it over and then briefly plan what we want to say, and then we stop thinking about it. Or we’re depressed and start ruminating. Why do I feel like this? I should snap out of it. What’s wrong with me? Maybe I’m just lazy. What if I always feel this way? Hoping that if we can just make sense of this, we’ll feel better. But it usually just leaves us thinking in circles.

We can’t solve depression by ruminating and overthinking it. But often what can help is doing something, getting off the couch, going for a walk, accomplishing something small, or making plans with a friend if we have any. Taking action pulls us out of our heads and gets us out of that cycle of negative thinking.

But sometimes we’re dwelling on something we can’t do anything about. We keep going over a mistake we made or something we said we’re embarrassed about or we sent a text or email and are now second guessing ourselves. We can’t control the past or what other people think. There’s nothing we can do to change it now. And going over it again and again just makes us feel worse.

Or we’re dwelling on something that happened or that someone did to us getting angrier and angrier the more we think about it. So sometimes we just need to accept the reality of the situation and that it’s uncomfortable, but we’re not going to be able to think our way out of it. The past doesn’t always make sense. Things aren’t always fair. Not every problem has a solution, and no amount of thinking is going to change that.

But that doesn’t mean we’re going to be able to stop thinking about it. So what can we try instead? Sometimes reframing the situation and coming up with reassuring thoughts can help. It’s not a big deal. Everyone does things they feel embarrassed about. But other people usually don’t notice or just forget about it because they don’t really care.

But sometimes trying to come up with new ways of thinking about something just opens the door to more rumination. Or we’re not reassured by our modified thoughts and can’t let things go. In which case, instead of continuing with unproductive overthinking and rumination, we write down what’s on our mind and set it aside until a scheduled thinking period later in the day.

The goal isn’t to ignore the thoughts, but to postpone thinking about them for now and come back to them later on our own terms and not let them keep going in circles. During our thinking period, we look over the thoughts we wrote down and see if any still seem important. Often, they won’t, so there’s nothing more to do.

But if we do feel the need to think about them further, the fact that we’ve stepped away and are now coming back to look at them with a clearer mind and from a fresher perspective makes it more likely we’ll be able to think about them productively rather than falling back into the same repetitive thinking as before.

We schedule the thinking period early enough in the evening that we have time to wind down before going to bed. We limit it to a maximum of 20 minutes so we wrap it up before it can slip back into overthinking. Postponing thinking about something and focusing our attention somewhere else teaches us that our thoughts aren’t as uncontrollable as they can feel.

And it helps develop attentional control. The ability to focus our attention where we want it instead of just following whatever happens to capture our attention. This is an important skill that helps prevent rumination and overthinking. And if our mind keeps returning to the same thoughts, we practice being mindful of them, observing them without getting caught up in them, watching them coming and going through our minds like clouds passing through the sky.

We’re simply acknowledging our thoughts without letting them pull us in. I’m having the thought, I can’t believe I said that. I’m thinking, why do I always feel like this? And this helps us step back from our thoughts and then we try to just let them go. It can help to add the word just. I’m just having the thought. I can’t believe I said that. I’m just thinking. Why do I always feel like this?

These are just thoughts. I don’t need to do anything with them. And we can label our thoughts dwelling, ruminating. This gives us some more distance from our thoughts and makes them easier to let go. Each time we notice a thought and let it go, we’re practicing attentional control, developing the same skill we build when we postpone thinking about something, which is key to preventing rumination and overthinking and making them more possible to stop when they do get going.

And if we’re still stuck in repetitive thinking, we can try distraction. We put on a podcast or listen to music or get some exercise to clear our minds or maybe do some chores or spend some time with our friends. Rumination and overthinking are much more common when we’re alone. We just do any activity that engages us enough that our minds don’t start or continue ruminating.

Or we can try a grounding exercise like 5 4 3 2 1. Naming five things we can see, four we can touch, three we can hear, two we can smell, and one we can taste. This helps shift our attention away from our thoughts and gives our mind something external to focus on.

Or we can use our breath to help pull ourselves out of our heads and ground us in the present. Bringing the focus of our attention to our breathing instead of to our thoughts. We can do any mindfulness of breath practice or just a simple breathing exercise like breathing in through our nostrils for a count of two, pausing and then breathing out through our mouths for a count of four and just repeating this.

And it’s really common to start ruminating and overthinking late at night, which can make it hard to sleep. So when that happens, we just remind ourselves. There’s nothing to do about this now, and I can deal with it tomorrow if it still seems important. And if the thoughts persist, we just acknowledge them.

And then as best we can, let them go and shift our attention to our breath or whatever neutral things we think about or listen to to try to fall asleep. And if that doesn’t work, we get up and do something calming for 15 to 20 minutes to help clear our minds before going back to bed.

So to reduce rumination and overthinking, we need to learn to recognize when our thinking is productive. And when it isn’t, switch to something productive like problem solving or planning. And when that’s not possible, accept reality. And that thinking about this more isn’t going to get us anywhere and just make us feel worse.

Then we can try reframing our thoughts. and postpone thinking about them. Or we can practice being mindful of our thoughts and letting them go, distracting ourselves. Try a grounding exercise or pay attention to our breath. And all of this helps develop our attentional focus so we learn that our thoughts and what we think about aren’t uncontrollable.