Learn how core beliefs can lead to depression, and some strategies to modify negative core beliefs in order to relieve depression.
Are Your Core Beliefs Making You Depressed?
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Do you ever feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle against depression that just won’t let up no matter what you try? The key to understanding this struggle might lie in your core beliefs—deeply held convictions that influence how we think, feel, and act, shaping how we interpret our experiences and see the world.
Depression is associated with a set of negative core beliefs about ourselves as helpless, unlovable, and worthless; about the world and other people as hostile, unfriendly, and rejecting; and about the future in the sense of hopelessness and pessimism. This is known as the negative cognitive triad.
So how does this negative cognitive triad contribute to depression? Let’s start by looking at some examples of typical core beliefs associated with depression and see if you recognize any of these in yourself.
First, negative core beliefs about ourselves that often start with “I am”: I am worthless, I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m a loser, I’m not good enough, I’m weak, I’m broken, I’m a burden to others, I don’t deserve to be happy, I can’t do anything right.
And negative core beliefs about the world and other people: Life is unfair, nothing ever goes my way, everything is so difficult, the world is full of obstacles, there’s no point in even trying, no one really cares about me, people will always disappoint me, people will abandon me, others are better than I am, the world is full of suffering.
And negative core beliefs about the future: I’ll never be happy, I’ll never achieve my goals, the future is hopeless, I have no future, things will never get better, there’s nothing to look forward to, nothing will ever change, I’ll always feel this way, I’ll always be alone, I’ll never succeed.
I have a video that can help you figure out what your core beliefs are.
These core beliefs color the way we interpret situations in various aspects of our lives. For example, receiving constructive criticism at work—without these sorts of negative core beliefs, we might think, “Everyone gets feedback from their bosses. It can be really annoying, but it’s a normal part of having a job.” But seen through the filter of the negative cognitive triad, our thoughts might be, “I can’t do anything right. My boss must really regret hiring me. I’ll never be able to meet their expectations.”
Or a friend cancels plans—instead of thinking, “They probably have a good reason; we can just reschedule. Everyone has things come up, it’s no big deal,” seen through the lens of the negative cognitive triad, we might think, “I’m just so boring. No wonder they don’t want to spend time with me. I’m just not important to them. They probably don’t even like me anymore. I’m going to lose all of my friends at this rate.”
Or we make a mistake—instead of something like, “Mistakes happen to everyone. This doesn’t define who I am as a person,” our core beliefs could lead us to think, “I always mess things up. Everything’s too hard. I’m just not good enough. I’ll never succeed.”
When our negative cognitive triad is constantly leading us to respond to situations in these ways, it’s easy to see how that can leave us depressed.
Core beliefs can be difficult to change, as they’re deeply ingrained and shape our thoughts and behavior. As a result, the way we think and act tends to reinforce what we already believe, making our core beliefs even stronger.
For example, let’s look at how core beliefs like “I’m worthless,” “Life’s too hard,” “I’ll never succeed,” and “I’m not likable” can create a feedback loop that keeps our negative core beliefs going. These beliefs lead to negative self-talk like, “Why even try? I’ll just fail anyway,” neglecting self-care and daily responsibilities, avoiding challenges and new opportunities, and withdrawing from social situations.
These thoughts and behaviors then lead to experiences that seem to validate these beliefs: We miss opportunities because we weren’t able to make the effort, we fall behind on personal goals and responsibilities, and we have a lack of achievement from avoiding challenges. We experience strained or neglected relationships due to social withdrawal.
We then interpret these experiences as proof of our negative belief: “I can’t accomplish anything; I really am worthless. Everything feels like a struggle; life really is too hard. Other people are doing so much better than me; I’ll never succeed. I’m losing all my friends, and nobody cares about me; I really am unlikable.”
In order to break this cycle and begin modifying our core beliefs, we can start by reframing our thoughts to make them less negative. If we’re having thoughts like, “I can’t do anything right; my boss must really regret hiring me; I’ll never be able to meet his expectations,” we try to reframe these to make them less negative and something we can still believe, which might be, “Everyone gets feedback or criticism from their bosses. My boss is just being a boss; he probably treats everyone like this.”
And we might reframe, “I’m just not important to them; they probably don’t even like me anymore; I’m going to lose all of my friends at this rate,” to something like, “This is so disappointing; I was really looking forward to it. I’m really lonely, and I wish I had a better social life, but everyone has things come up; it doesn’t mean she doesn’t like me.”
I have a number of videos that look at how we can change our negative thoughts in ways that resonate with us. The more consistently we modify our negative thoughts, the less they reinforce our negative core beliefs, and new, more helpful, and nurturing core beliefs can begin to take root.
Core beliefs also influence our behavior, as does depression, often in ways that go hand in hand. Holding a core belief like “I’m a failure” can make us overly cautious, unwilling to take risks, or give up easily when faced with challenges. Depression compounds this by making us feel defeated before we even begin. We might avoid new opportunities, dismiss past successes, or dwell on our mistakes. This avoidance and negative focus on failure further reinforces the belief that we are failures, perpetuating the cycle of depression.
Changing behaviors associated with negative core beliefs can have a positive impact both on the beliefs themselves and on our symptoms of depression.
Behavioral activation—engaging in activities that give us a sense of pleasure or enjoyment, a sense of achievement or accomplishment, or involve social interaction—can play a key role in changing the way we see ourselves and the world.
Taking a walk in the park, listening to music we enjoy, and so on can help lift our moods, and even these small moments of enjoyment counteract beliefs like, “Things will never get better; I’ll never be happy; nothing will ever change; life is full of suffering.”
Similarly, tackling activities that give us a sense of achievement—like cooking a nice meal, completing a simple task, or taking just one step towards a small goal—can help boost our moods and make us feel a little less depressed while helping contradict beliefs like, “I’m a failure; I’m useless; I can’t do anything right.”
Increased social activity also helps reduce depression. Being around people we’re close to and comfortable with will often improve our moods and can remind us that we are valued and people do enjoy our company, loosening some of our core beliefs. But if we’re introverted and don’t have a social network or family we’re close to, socializing can seem almost impossible when we’re depressed, so we may wish to focus on other areas first.
Similarly, behavioral experiments involve testing the validity of negative core beliefs by engaging in activities that challenge them, allowing us to gather evidence to see if these beliefs hold true, and often supporting the development of new, more helpful beliefs. I cover behavioral experiments in a couple of other videos.
Negative core beliefs also lead to negative attentional bias—the tendency to focus on information that aligns with our existing beliefs while overlooking or dismissing anything that contradicts them. If we hold the belief like “I’m a failure,” we might fixate on mistakes or setbacks while ignoring our successes or progress. If we receive both positive and negative feedback, our attention will gravitate towards the criticism. If a situation is ambiguous, we’ll interpret it to reflect our belief that we’re a failure. Each of these examples further strengthens our belief.
To counter negative attentional bias, we can practice deliberately seeking out and focusing our attention on evidence that contradicts our negative beliefs. Mindfulness helps us avoid negative attentional bias by making us more aware of our thoughts and where our attention naturally goes. When we’re mindful, we can observe our thoughts without getting caught up in them, which helps us notice when our attention gravitates towards negative details that reinforce our core beliefs. Instead of fixating on the negative, mindfulness allows us to shift our focus to the full picture. We might ask ourselves, “Am I focusing only on the negative? Is there any other way to look at this? Anything else I could be paying attention to?”
I have a number of videos that describe how we can practice mindfulness.
Gratitude also helps counter negative attentional bias. We can practice gratitude with the three good things exercise. At the end of each day, we write down three positive things we experience during the day, no matter how small, and note anything we did to help make them happen. This exercise helps us feel better in the moment and puts us in a mindset that encourages noticing more positive experiences during the day, shifting our attention away from the negative towards moments of pleasure and contentment and things we are grateful for.
So, negative core beliefs can be a big contributing factor to depression, but by looking for evidence that contradicts these beliefs, our beliefs begin to shift, and we start forming new, healthier core beliefs that make it less likely we become depressed and reduce the severity and duration of any periods of depression we do experience.
If you have any questions or comments, please leave them on the YouTube video page.